01Sep 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

The US ProMiniGolf Association (USPMGA)

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Today I learned: 1) There’s such a thing as the United States Pro Mini Golf Association (USPMGA). 2) Professional mini golf isn’t just a quirky, US-only thing: it’s a worldwide phenomenon.  The USPMGA is a subsidiary of the World Mini Golf Sports Federation (WMSF). 3)  In my younger days, I actually shanked a few balls into the water at Hawaiian Rumble Mini Golf in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  I never realized that Hawaiian Rumble is an officially sanctioned, USPMGA-approved mini golf course, widely considered to be one of the world's best. 4)  Both the USPMGA and the WMSF sponsor regular tournaments, in both the “Open” and “Masters” categories.  For 2018, the USPMGA Master’s tournament boasts a $20,000 cash purse. 5)  In light of these facts, it’s pretty obvious that I…
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18Aug 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

“Cannonball!”, by Brock Yates

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Picture this:  It’s 1971, and for the first time in the short history of America’s interstate highway system, strict traffic laws are about to take effect.  Searching for a way to protest what they view as excessive restrictions, a handful of automobile enthusiasts— Car & Driver magazine editor Brock Yates, his son Brock Yates Jr., Steve Smith and Jim Williams, set out on a single-car, cross-country road trip in a Dodge Custom Sportsman Van.  By switching drivers regularly and stopping only long enough to refuel, the small group made the trip from New York City to Redondo Beach, California… in 40 hours and 51 minutes! The inaugural “Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash” proved so much fun that the team repeated the event later that same year, although they opened…
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04Aug 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

#372: The Case of the Boosted Buggies

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I recently spent some time in one of those corporate apartment complexes.  You know the type: a squat, soulless block of rooms, all pre-furnished with identical tables, sofas beds and dishes.  And even though it made for a nice enough place to keep my stuff for a while, I wouldn’t really say that this place was… interesting.  In fact, the most engaging thing about this complex was the sheer number of abandoned shopping carts left around the grounds. Every.  Day. Shopping.  Carts.  Everywhere. Sometimes you’d turn your back for a second and find one there, staring at you, almost as if it followed you home from the store, wheels squeaking, as if some wanna-be film student was secretly scripting out the world’s worst low-budget horror movie. And then sometimes I’d…
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21Jul 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Museum in Transition: The Bardo

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So there was this one time, on the day job, when for some reason or other the traveling circus shipped me off to Tunisia for a couple months.  This small, North African country is actually a pretty interesting place to pass some time— warm Mediterranean climate, awesome Italian food and no shortage of opportunities to forget my middle school French.  One of my favorite parts of that trip was exploring the ubiquitous Roman ruins, particularly around the ancient city of Carthage. At the time of my visit, the country was still recovering from its 2011 “Jasmine Revolution”, which was the start of the whole Arab Spring uprising.  As a result, there’d been a lot of changes to the tourist attractions listed in the secondhand guidebook I’d managed to swipe from somewhere. …
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07Jul 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 2 Comments

The Whistle Pig, by Duck Miller

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For those of you who follow the blog, you already know that I spent a good part of 2017 diving head-first into Byron Preiss’ cult classic “The Secret: A Treasure Hunt.”  And even though it looks like I’m still stuck three feet short of uncovering the buried casque in Charleston, South Carolina, that awesome experience was all it took to get me hooked on the obscure world of armchair treasure hunts.  Recently, I’ve also joined the (much smaller) club of readers who’re actively working on “The Whistle Pig” by Duck Miller. “The Whistle Pig” was written in the same spirit as “The Secret”:  somewhere within the borders of the United States is a unique, unmistakable “key” which was hidden on accessible public land. The key’s identity and physical location are…
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23Jun 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

“The Guns of the South”, by Harry Turtledove

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Full disclosure: this was the first book I’ve ever read by Harry Turtledove, an author who’s considered to be the undisputed master of the Alternative History genre, but it definitely won’t be the last.  The plot’s wild concept plot is nothing short of amazing, like something he might have dreamt up after a few too many drinks with his writers’ workshop:  “All right guys, listen to this, okay?  A bunch of white supremacists get their hands on a time machine, right?  And so they go out and start rounding up all the AK-47 rifles they can get their hands on, you follow me, and then they go back in time to try and help General Robert E. Lee win the American Civil War in order to advance their racist agenda. …
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09Jun 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 2 Comments

The True Meaning of Christmas, Florida

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  Florida isn’t just another state, sometimes it seems like a whole other country.  I actually had the opportunity to live there for a few years:  say what you want about the Sunshine State, but it’s never boring.  As much as my family and I enjoyed the glitz of Orlando’s theme parks, you only have to go a few miles outside of the city limits to find the “real Florida.”   a little hard to describe, but you’ll know it when you see it…just get off the highways and keep an eye out for the fruit stands on the side of the road. One of my favorite places in Florida was Christmas, a small town about halfway between Orlando and Cape Canaveral on State Road 50.  There’s barely 1000 people…
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26May 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Taft 2012

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William Howard Taft served as the twenty-seventh president of the United States, from 1909-1913.  Although he only served a single term, his time in the Oval Office marked an unusually quiet period in American history.  Although Taft would later go on to serve as a Supreme Court justice, the only man in history to hold both titles, modern history primarily remembers him for two major accomplishments.  First, Taft was the last US president to rock a sweet mustache.  Second, and I should note this one is subject to some debate, Taft was also so fat that he (allegedly) got himself stuck in the White House bathtub. In Jason Heller’s debut novel, Taft 2012, President William Howard Taft disappears on the eve of Woodrow Wilson’s inauguration.  The missing politician is presumed…
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12May 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Spag’s

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For nearly seventy years, the discount retail market of central Massachusetts was dominated by one man, Anthony “Spag” Borgatti.  His brainchild, a sprawling store simply called “Spag’s”, was a fixture along Route 9 in the town of Shrewsbury, Massachusetts from 1934 to 2004.  Spag’s had a well-earned reputation for rock-bottom prices; it wasn’t until the 1990s before the store began offering plastic bags or shopping carts.  Up until 1992 the business was strictly cash-only, with no credit cards accepted. One of  my own memories of Spag’s was how the store would always hand-write their prices directly on the merchandise using a black magic marker.  But even though the store took pride in keeping their overhead costs down to an absolute minimum, Spag’s also sponsored a number of local charities.  Their…
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28Apr 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

“Mazes and Monsters”, by Rona Jaffe

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Apparently the 1980s were a hell of a time, back when video games and rock and roll were responsible for warping the mind of an entire generation.  As if Ozzy Osbourne and KISS weren’t bad enough, parents also had be on the lookout for dangerous games like Dungeons and Dragons.  Although D&D has somehow gotten a lot more popular in recent years, almost to the point where it’s considered mainstream, back in the day a lot of people actually thought that role-playing games might be secretly luring kids over to the dark side. These types of sensational news articles didn’t escape the notice of Rona Jaffe, a New York author who started her career writing articles for Cosmopolitan magazine in the 1950s and 60s.  In 1981, Jaffe published the book…
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14Apr 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 15 Comments

Canadian Club’s “Hide-A-Case” Challenge

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Full disclosure:  I’ve never actually sampled a glass of Canadian Club whiskey.  I know, that’s entirely my loss, but the shortcoming is something I have to live with at this point.  Recently, though, I learned about this cool advertising campaign that CC ran throughout the 1960s and 1970s.  It was called the “Hide a Case” challenge, basically a real-world treasure hunt with booze as the grand prize.  Apparently CC dispatched a team of intrepid company executives around the world on a mission to bury a dozen cases of whiskey, and the locations were then published as cryptic clues in full-page magazine advertisements.  This hunt hasn’t gathered too much attention online yet, although articles like this one (or this one) have helped attract at least a few new hunters.  Most of the…
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31Mar 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Atlas Obscura

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One of my favorite websites of all time has to be Atlas Obscura, a crowd-sourced website which strives to be a “definitive guide to the world’s wondrous and curious places.”  It’s not really a travel guide in the traditional sense, though, more like a reference designed to help you wander just a little further off of the beaten path.  Whenever I head out on the road these days, one of the first things I do after packing is to consult the Atlas.  If my travels are going to take me within striking distance of a colossal squid, for example, you can bet I’m going to make a detour.  World’s biggest ball of twine?  Don’t worry, I’ve got my eye on you as well! And even though the good folks at…
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17Mar 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 2 Comments

S.O.B. and the Legend of Alan Schafer

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Full disclosure: I’m a diehard fan of South of the Border, this Mexican-themed tourist trap which straddles the North Carolina/South Carolina border on Interstate 95.  To call S.O.B. a simple attraction would be a grave understatement, though:  the compound features a gas station, motel, restaurant, casino, ballroom, mini-golf park, reptile zoo and countless shops.  The true attraction, though, is S.O.B.’s neon-lit, 200-foot tall observation tower topped with a giant sombrero.  If you’re coming south along I-95 on a clear day, you’ll be able to see Pedro’s hat from miles away. South of the Border has clearly seen more prosperous days, although in my mind the current run-down state only adds to its appeal.  I’d lost count of how many times I’d visited when my family and I stopped in during…
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03Mar 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

True Treats Historic Candy

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I’ve been to Harpers Ferry, West Virginia on three separate occasions, and if you’re ever in the area then you should definitely stop in.  The town itself is a national park, a living history community dedicated to everyday life in the 1850s.  (Shameless self-promotion alert: while you’re waiting for the shuttle bus down from the parking area, you can pass the time with this short story inspired by my first visit.  There’s enough activities to satisfy the most active outdoorsman, but even if you don’t plan on hiking the Appalachian Trail you can still enjoy awesome views from the banks of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers. On our last trip, though, everybody’s favorite attraction was the True Treats historic candy shop.  This shop bills itself as “the nation’s only research-based historic…
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17Feb 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Dead Malls

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The mall is an all-American creation, a structure built for the sole purpose of retail shopping.  Although the first completely indoor, climate-controlled shopping center debuted in 1956 (shout-out to the Southdale Center in Edina, Minnesota—-you’re looking great at 62 years young!), we all know that the mall reached its true peak during the 1980s and early 1990s.  Movie theaters and restaurants quickly attached themselves to these shopping centers, transforming simple blocks of stores into miniature communities.  But even though shopping malls still make up approximately ten percent of all retail space in the United States, in many places the mall seems to have passed its prime.  As more and more chain stores have gone out of business, cities and suburbs are now challenged to put this space to the best…
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01Feb 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 2 Comments

The Wal-Mart Diaries (les Journaux Wal-Mart)

Short Stories
Shameless Self-Promotion Alert:  I’m pleased to announce that my latest short story, “The Wal-Mart Diaries (les Journaux Wal-Mart)”, was featured in The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature's February issue.  Dead Mule has been an excellent magazine for over 21 years now, and after further review they’ve judged that my own resume contains a sufficient amount of Southern legitimacy.  Thank God for all those summers spent working the state fair circuit! I recently returned to the United States after spending some time overseas, and visiting all of my favorite stores and restaurants made for a great homecoming.  Wal-Mart has always been a particularly fun haunt, and coming back to my local SuperCenter was a nice treat.  Man, all the STUFF!  Wal-Mart always seems to have so much merchandise for sale,…
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16Jan 2018 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

The Bruce Weiner Microcar Museum

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Being a business traveler comes with a lot of drawbacks, but one of my favorite parts of the “day job” is getting to explore those places which lie off the beaten path.  You know the type I’m talking about:  attractions like the world’s largest ball of twine, maybe, or anywhere you might not consider to be an actual destination.  Still, if you happen to be passing by anyway you might as well stop and check it out, right? The Bruce Weiner Microcar Museum, formerly of scenic Madison, Georgia, was just that type of place. I first learned about the pride of Madison while flipping through a copy of Southern Living magazine about ten years ago.  Apparently a man named Bruce Weiner had made his fortune working as an executive for…
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31Dec 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 102 Comments

The “Buried Treasure” on Sullivan’s Island

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[caption id="attachment_192" align="alignleft" width="359"] "The Secret"[/caption] 2017 has been full of adventures!  Several months ago, I wrote a couple quick posts about how I stumbled across “The Secret: A Treasure Hunt”, a book that was written by Byron Preiss and published in 1982.  This book is what’s known as an “armchair treasure hunt”, and it features a series of clues  which lead to a dozen buried treasures across North America.  Basically, all a person had to do was buy the book, match one of twelve cryptic verses up with another set of equally puzzling paintings, and then somehow the clues would lead you to an exact location.  That done, you could dig down through three feet of dirt to pull out a buried "treasure casque".  These ceramic casques each contained…
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09Dec 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Finding Fitzgerald

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I used to love reading “The Great Brain” series by J.D. Fitzgerald, seven awesome books about growing up Mormon in turn-of-the-century Utah.  Although these stories might be categorized as fictionalized memoirs, when I was a kid it was enough to know that they were great books.  I remember being amazed at just how easily the Fitzgerald boys got in trouble with their parents and their community, even without the aid of any modern technology.  One of my favorite stories in this series told how the Fitzgeralds were the first in their town to purchase an indoor toilet.  The neighbors (quite understandably) thought that Mr. Fitzgerald had finally lost his mind, and when the toilet was flushed for the first time a young J.D. thought his house had exploded!  The best…
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26Nov 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Mister K’s Used Books

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  As a used-book devotee, one of my pet peeves is those shops which put no effort into their display space.  I’ve been to a ton of used book stores which seem more like warehouses than actual shops, with rows upon rows of books piled high absent any rhyme or reason.  And yes, I do realize that these small businesses have to make their profit by selling books in volume, but it’s still a turn-off when you have to invest a couple hours wandering through the stacks without any clue as to what you might find around each corner.  And while I also realize that life is about the journey, not the destination, I’ve not a patient man. That’s probably the main reason why I appreciate Mister K’s Used Books…
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12Nov 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

DieselDucy

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[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yZIJBqwwR0?ecver=2] Today’s featured Youtuber is Andrew Reams, a railroad freight conductor and self-proclaimed “elevator enthusiast.”  Andrew is better known by the handle of “DieselDucy”, and as I’m writing this his Youtube channel has nearly 40,000 subscribers.  That’s pretty impressive, particularly when you consider that most of his videos are silent recordings of his favorite elevator rides!  No commentary, no background music, just the blissful sound of a lift in motion. On his website, Andrew explains that he is an adult diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder.  One of the characteristics of autism spectrum involves “fixating” on certain things, and in Andrew’s case he’s particularly intrigued by elevators, locks, lighting and trains.  Although he didn’t start uploading videos until 2006, Andrew’s actually been recording his favorite elevators rides…
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29Oct 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Used Book Hunting: Access All Areas, by Ninjalicious

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I’ve been fascinated by “urban exploration” for some time now, so I figured that the best way to get a better understanding of the field was to pick up a copy of its seminal guidebook.  The author, Jeff Chapman, was a Toronto-based pioneer in the “UrbEx” field better known by his internet handle of “Ninjalicious.” Although the book contains a number of awesome stories, some identifying details have been intentionally obscured due to the questionable legality of UrbEx.  I was most interested in reading about the methods that Chapman used, mostly simple behavioral hacks rather than James Bond-like infiltration techniques.  I was particularly impressed by these tactics since the book was published back in 2005, long before anyone had heard of the term “social engineering.” “Access All Areas” is an…
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20Oct 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com 10 Comments

The Secret: A Treasure Hunt

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After nearly eight months of searching and waiting, this week I finally had the privilege of visiting one of Byron Preiss’ buried treasure casques!  Unfortunately I was NOT able to actually dig up the casque myself, but given the historical importance of the site I agree that work is best left to the professionals. Fellow “Secret” hunters:  I’ve just put the full “solution” up on the Quest 4 Treasure forums (as well as a December 31, 2017 post here on my own blog), so hopefully the methodology I used will be helpful if there’s a casque in your neck of the woods.  As for me, anyway, both Image 2 and Verse 5 are officially off the table. Special thanks goes to the National Park Service team at Fort Sumter National…
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08Oct 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Bleeding Marlborough

Short Stories, Uncategorized
It’s been a busy couple of months at the day job, but I’m excited to announce that my latest short story, “Bleeding Marlborough”, is featured in the Fall 2017 issue of Wilderness House Literary Review.  This is my first time being published in WHLR, so be sure to check out that magazine’s other great offerings while you’re there. And yes, Virginia, there really is a John Brown Bell.  If you’re interested in the non-fiction story behind “the second most important bell in America”, this article that I wrote for Atlas Obscura is a great place to get started. No matter your opinion on the Civil War, its artifacts or its monuments, I hope you enjoy this story.  
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05Sep 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Chasing McRib

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Full disclosure:  I once worked at a McDonald’s restaurant for two years straight, which is why I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I’ve never actually tried the McRib sandwich.  The “for a limited time only” pork-and-sauce delectable was first introduced in 1981, invented by the same genius who brought us the Chicken McNugget.  Although the McRib was removed from the chain’s permanent menu in 1985, it’s continued to make occasional re-appearances and “farewell tours” over the years. Not having actually eaten the sandwich, the thing I find most impressive about the McRib are its legion of dedicated fans.  One of them, Alan Klein, actually founded the McRib Locator website in order to help others track down their dream lunch.  For us road warriors, Klein also created an app (of course)…
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18Aug 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Scorpio Books

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This quiet, appealing neighborhood bookstore has been a staple of Christchurch for over 40 years.  Although its original building was damaged during the massive earthquake of 2011, the business itself lives on. When I first visited the store in late 2015, Scorpio Books occupied a humble shipping container in the trendy Re:Start Mall.  It was definitely a unique shopping experience, although the selection was understandably limited.  When I came back through town a year later, I was pleased to see that Scorpio Books had moved into a larger, more open shop just down from its original building on Hereford Street. With a great local selection and friendly staff, it’s a sure bet that you won’t be walking out empty-handed.
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04Aug 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Reed Reviews

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[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiDF0Zd-rFc?ecver=2] Reed Naiper has to be one of my favorite “celebrities” of the modern era.  Although his Youtube channel features a lot of standard fare such as video game walkthroughs, in my opinion Reed shines brightest during his product reviews.  “Casual Gamer Reed”, as he’s known online, offers his unbiased (and unedited) thoughts on a range of products from the driver’s seat of his car, which is usually stationed in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart Supercenter.  Whether or not Reed actually lives in his car has yet to be determined. In my mind, it’s a sure sign that the American dream is alive and well if a young man is able to build a successful brand by extolling the virtues of a McDonald’s M&M Flurry, or discussing the…
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15Jul 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Unity Books

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A quick trip through Auckland last week was the inspiration for this paragraph, a brief shout-out to one of the best bookstores I’ve come across.  Unity Books only has two locations, this one plus another in Wellington, but their reputation is huge.  In a world where massive chain booksellers offer office supplies, toys and games, Unity Books stands out for their simplicity.  This place sells books, nothing else.  Not even a café, although you’ll almost certainly find something worth reading over your morning flat white.  If your travels ever lead you to the land of the long white cloud, be sure to stop in and have a browse for yourself.
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19Jun 2017 by jamesvachowski@gmail.com No Comments

Used Book Hunting: The Last Samurai, by Helen Dewitt

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  I was wandering through a used bookshop last week, the kind of store which has no website like it’s not 2017 and where the paperbacks are stacked floor to ceiling like the owner’s goal was to create some kind of fire hazard death trap.  It was there that I came across a like-new copy of “The Last Samurai” by Helen Dewitt.  This hadn’t been on my reading list, but after reading the hilarious jacket cover there was no way I could pass it up. $10 the copy.
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